To continue back from the last post 'Goals and Purpose' . I spent the week thinking what are the achievements I want to achieve in my life. What I really wanna do in my life.. I asked my friends, cousins etc etc but I got the advice that I was least expecting to get it from. That it was from my father. My father out of all people in my life. Don't get me wrong, I really love my father a lot yet each time or whatever actions I did I disappoint him and he fall short of expectations of me. I was wrong in that aspect because the expectations is still there just that he wants me to think about my life carefully now.
A little background story about my father,
He started working when he was young, qualifications wise he was good. What he stands out from the rest is that he make decisions whether it is work or life and solidify his stance on that decision itself. He is very willing to open up to new experiences and relates it to his past experiences when it comes to decisions and bang that was where his popularity brings him. It is also why he is the union president for Singapore Refining Company for so long. A successful man in his own right.
So where do I fit in the equation of my father? Actually I'm nowhere close to my father (that's what I think and feel). I'm more to my mom (stubborn) but most of my cousins would say I do possessed some qualities of my father and that is decision making. Like him, I would solidify my stance on my decision. Although I didn't realized it but it was proven when I applied for my polytechnic and fight for it amicably. Even my father was shocked but proud I made it through.
However though like most people, making decision is one thing, actions while putting tremendous amount of effort in those actions is another. What drives me towards that proving those decisions I made is the difference. For the poly case, I know my life for national service with the army is not now but later because I'm not ready yet.
During the third and fourth day of raya, my father brought me out to jalan raya. Usually he will ditch me when going out since he knows I'm clearly not interested in going out but for this case I might as well go out to see my cousins and not hooked up with my PS3 or computer. So yeah we went out..
So he brought my sisters and myself to eat yesterday. That's where his advice towards me came in. I still remember it clearly what he said.
"Hariz, you have that drive. I'm proud that you have an ambition but you need to learn to guide yourself. Be a leader, learn to put some discipline towards yourself. Stop relying from others. You're slowly making progress but it is not enough. If you put in the effort last time especially on your 'o' levels you won't have to travel the longer route. I did the calculations for you. If you get a degree at 30 how are you able to survive in Singapore where cost of living is so high? You gotta start now. Start listening and be aware of the world around you and you do well."
It got me thinking again, "what am I doing? Your father still expects much from you. Do you want to succeed Riz? Do you?"
Obviously I do want to find my own success story but how do I want to find it? I'm the author of my own story not others and somehow I know I have found it. It's the lack of discipline is what stopping me. I need to change now. I just need to. Not for anyone but for myself.
The will to succeed really falls on me.
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